More on Self Awareness
posted by Stephanie Ritchie on 11/23/2008 10:31:46 AM

Someone visiting my house recently asked me if I had any margarine. My nose curled up and I said, No! I do NOT have any maaaaaargarine! I have BUTTER. Don't you know I'm a food snob?"

This single event had a ripple-like effect on my self awareness.

My New Years resolution is to accept exactly who I am. I have a quick wit, a harsh tone, an incredible sense of generosity, terrible facial expressions when I don't even know it, a good singing voice, pretty good sense of humor, and I am a self taught snob from a 'holler' in Kentucky.

I am human. With human inconsistencies. Everyone else can like it or lump it. I'm 39 years old and I'm too busy living to spend a bunch of energy trying to change everything about me that doesn't please other people. It is not my goal to please other people. It is my goal to have integrity, to be creative, to be present, to love honestly, to explore my own understanding of Spirit, to do more yoga, more dance, and so on.

I accept exactly who I am. No one else has to.

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Self Awareness
posted by Stephanie Ritchie on 11/19/2008 8:49:51 PM

Isn't it funny how defensive you can get when someone else makes critical assessment of some atribute you have (or don't have)? You know you have it, everybody who knows you knows you have it, and you go along living with it just fine until someone gets in your face and tells you what they think about it.

I have very pale skin. I'd probably think nothing of it; probably be just fine with my pale skin if kids at every age level growing up hadn't made fun of me and my pale skin. Now I am 39. I do not wear shorts, let alone bathing suits. Why? Am I a fat cow? Do I have leprosy? No, I am pale.

What's worse than having this happen over some physical thing? Having this happen over some emotional thing.

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Road Trippin'
posted by Stephanie Ritchie on 11/18/2008 11:15:47 AM

Like any good road trip, the EY excursion to the Yoga Journal Conference in Miami has left the crew exhausted and pumped at the same time. They rolled into the office this morning a little glassy eyed, but on task with new connections, product ideas, and follow-up lists.

Me, I stayed home to pull parent duty. The thought of 11 hours in the car with an 8 month old gave me hives. I miss traveling with my husband though. Soon the wee child will be more travel friendly and I will learn to alter my traveling routines to accomodate the toddler disposition.

I can't wait. No, really, I can't wait. Really.

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Yoga Conferences
posted by Stephanie Ritchie on 11/12/2008 11:09:35 AM

As my husband and the EY team prepare to leave for the Yoga Journal Conference in Miami the stacks of boxes in the office get higher and higher. Yoga clothing, yoga figurines, yoga mats, mat bags, and incense. LOTS of incense. If you are going to this conference, PLEASE buy incense.

We just bought a huge shipment of incense. Enough to fill a small warehouse. Enough to fill about half a semi truck. Yes, that's a whole lotta smell good. This does solve my Christmas shopping list however: Mom--incense, Dad--incense, Nanny--incense, Papaw--hmmm, let me think, hmmm, OK, incense!

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My Heart Chakra
posted by Stephanie Ritchie on 11/11/2008 7:45:42 AM

This is an email I just sent to friend about my ER visit last night:

FIVE HOURS IN THE ER just to tell me my EKG was not irregular, my electrolytes are fine, and I am not pregnant. Almost two weeks of having this heart fluttering feeling, really badly at night, then I get in front of a doctor and BAM--nothing.

The whole time I was there I didn't have so much as a teeny tiny heart hiccup. Nada. What I did have while I was there was the most painful needle stick I've ever had. The IV inserted to take blood/give drugs made my arm ache all night. It didn't give me a cheery disposition either.

What this child doctor did say (damn, he looked young, or maybe I feel really old) is that I've probably become sensitive to one of the decongestants in my OTC sinus medication that I take from time to time. I just so happened to have taken a lot of it the last 4-6 weeks with my allergies flaring up SO badly. That's it, that's all he said. Switch allergy medication.

He also said that what I describe won't kill me in my sleep. It'll just feel really bizarre. Whew. After I got the IV out, got back home, got into bed with no strange heart fluttering, I realized how relieving it was to hear that it's really nothing serious.

I have an 8 month old. I can't kick the bucket just yet.

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Worryasana
posted by Stephanie Ritchie on 11/5/2008 7:29:14 PM

Wheeeeew. What a week. What a month. What a year!*#?@!*

If there were three of me we couldn't get everything done that I need to do. Mad, isn't it? When really all we need to do is BE. Yea, yea, go tell it to a rock, you say.

I have read a lot of literature having to do with the notion of simple living. Yet in no way have any of the chapters in my life seemed simple when I was living them. Of course, I can look back on my period in the Rockies working as an ornithology research tech and say, wow, you mean all you had to do for 2 months at a time was walk a 50 yard swath to and fro underneath some marshy Colorado power lines and look for dead birds??? Wow, what could be simpler?

Thing is, living hand-to-mouth in a camper and walking in the marsh all day presented quite a few things to worry about. Like skunks for instance. Dawg, if I had that to do now I wouldn't waste a second of it worrying. Skunk spray and all...

I've tried to apply the same logic to my present life circumstances. Sure, life seems to present a lot to worry about, but maybe one day I'll look back and say, Dawg, why did I worry so much?

Thankfully the election is over and I can now get back to worrying about more ordinary stuff.

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Not in the Present Moment
posted by Stephanie Ritchie on 11/3/2008 7:52:09 AM

I just can't stay in the present moment this week. I have a big show this weekend and I need to be doing three things in three different places at any given time in order to be semi-ready by Friday. Oh don't worry, I will still be doing Yoga: I will be stretching 24 hours into at least 30 on a daily basis.

Is this so bad? So what--I'm distracted from the moment by mental lists of all that must be done. I'm multitasking. I'm troubleshooting. Isn't that how anyone gets anything done on a schedule? Especially moms who have kids to take care of at the same time??

If there is another way to be at a time like this I will have to explore it in my next life.

Gotta go...no point in having a jewelry show without the jewelry...

 

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Rogue Waves
posted by Stephanie Ritchie on 11/1/2008 9:11:22 PM

In the open ocean when a ship encounters a rogue wave its only chance of staying afloat is if the bow of the ship is headed directly into the wave. Even the biggest, best ships can't handle a 90 foot wave that strikes the side of the vessel.

Yesterday I noticed early that my husband was in a foul mood, stressed out, handling money issues, training another new gal, and probably hadn't eaten. It crossed my mind to drive as far as a tank of gas would get me and set up a new residence. But I know that it is when a person is in such a mood that they most need their spouse to shore them up, not abandon them, and not make matters worse by giving them a hard time for having a hard time.

So I battened down my emotional hatches and turned my bow squarely in the direction of my agitated husband. Pretty sure I would take on water I said, "I don't know what it's like to be you right now, but I want you to know the baby and I appreciate all that you do to keep us afloat."

I sailed unscathed over the 90 foot wave as if it were a kiddie ride at Six Flags.

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To blog or not to blog?
posted by Stephanie Ritchie on 10/29/2008 9:05:13 PM

I quit blogging here because I had no feedback on how many people were reading this. It felt sort of like talking to a wall. With my time and energy being as fractured as they are, well, I just don't have the mindset (read: faith) to trust that someone, somewhere out there is laughing her ass off, or reflecting quietly, on account of something I wrote.

Then the everythingyoga.com IT guy crunched the virtual numbers on hits to this blog and who knew? There is someone, somewhere out there laughing her ass off!

OK, slings and arrows aside, I shall blog.

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No Yoga
posted by Stephanie Ritchie on 10/11/2008 9:32:12 PM

It is Murphy's Law that my public declaration of committing to a weekly yoga class (at the studio) would be accompanied by upheavals in what is already a very unstable schedule.

Alas, my best yoga was done in the middle of the night when I got up to nurse my baby. Since he has been sleeping 5-7 hours at a time, even my night yoga has disappeared.

I am reminded of my favorite entry in the Tao Te Ching, number 76. It speaks of the difference between the stiff and the yielding. The stiff tree will break, the yielding tree will bend, so on and so forth. Those without flexibility never win a battle, bla, bla, bla...

I told you (all three of you who read this) that I would fess up if I didn't keep my commitment, albeit so you could feel better about yourselves. So go on, get snug and righteous. There ya go, mmmm, doesn't that feel good? Ahhhh, you're not as lazy as I am.

Tags: Blaaaaaaaag
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Life is Short
posted by Stephanie Ritchie on 9/25/2008 8:45:04 PM

Lessons in how to sieze the day are not usually delivered in the form of a lesson proper. These kernals of true wisdom are typically parading around us, cloaked in Real Life, with very little tutorial ado.

An old friend of mine got himself dead a few days ago. I've known him since high school. He was the kindest, smartest, most polite anarchist I've ever known.

He survived a rough upbringing, active military duty, and a genius IQ only to meet his end at the hand of a decidedly unglamorous foe: inhalants.

So when you think you might be a little off balance...
not so centered...
depressed...
anxious...
desperate...

Go to yoga. Go directly to yoga. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200.

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Unyogalike
posted by Stephanie Ritchie on 9/18/2008 8:04:10 PM

It is perhaps unyogalike to take pleasant satisfaction in hearing that someone who wronged you in the past has now had some sorry luck. Or is it?

Isn't that really the lay understanding of the concept of karma? What comes around goes around?

I'm not feeling very spiritual right now. I don't mind admitting that this particular person, and a few of her pals, shat in my Post Toasties a while back. And so frankly, I hope they are all now being served big sausage turds for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

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